DIY & Fun Stuff

Crack me up – our favourite Christmas cracker jokes!

Best Christmas Cracker Jokes

cracker_jokes

    1. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

      Holly Davidson

      santa_bike

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    1. How do snowmen travel around?

      By icicle

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    1. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?


      Because he had low “elf” esteem!

      sad_elf

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    1. What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?


      He got 25 days!

      Bad_Santas

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    1. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?


      A Christmas Quacker!

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    1. What is the best Christmas present in the world?


      A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!

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    1. What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?


      Krisp Kringle!

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    1. Did Rudolph go to school?

      No. He was Elf-taught!

      elf_school

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    1. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?

      They always drop their needles!

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    1. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

      A mince spy!

      mince_spy

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    1. What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?


      It’s Christmas, Eve!

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    1. What athlete is warmest in winter?


      A long jumper!

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    1. What’s the most popular Christmas wine?

      ‘I don’t like Brussels sprouts!’

      brussel_sprouts

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    1. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?

      Stick with me and we’ll go places!

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    1. Why was the Brussels sprout sent to prison?

      Because it was a repeat offender!

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    1. Why did the turkey cross the road?

      To prove he wasn’t chicken

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    1. What’s furry and minty?

      A polo bear.

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    1. What do snowmen have for breakfast?

      Snowflakes

      snowflakes

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    1. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

      Can you smell carrots

      snowman

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    1. What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?


      The elf-abet!

      elf_e

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